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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Things are a Changing

I try to blog about major things going on in my life. So I am going to blog about this because I feel like it is affecting my creativity. I mention in here when I feel like I am a bit manic. It's been a long time since I have mentioned that I feel a bit depressed because it's been so long since I have felt depressed. But the last week or two I have been feeling and seeing the signs that the real scary depression is creeping back in. Now I don't wanna get all scared because it is only a feeling and it is really about what I do with it but, it is also about some pretty scary thoughts that I get. But I talked to my doctor today and she changed my bipolar meds and I called the lady I talk to and she will call me back. I called her just to "touch base". So I am getting all my ducks in a row in case the BIG SCARY happens and I start to lose my way.

It's effecting my shops and my art in that I am not doing anything except going through email and blogging and I am not doing anything creative. I am not even listing. This watch that is waiting to be listed is sitting looking at me from my desktop. But I am not beating myself up. It has been almost 2 years to the month that I have had a swing down so I feel blessed and this might be a small burp. I sure hope someone is reading this that can relate. Can anyone relate? Is anyone out there? Can you write in the comments section? Can you let me know?
Helen

4 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you are going through. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder right before my 21st birthday. I’ve been living with it for 10 years now. I was lucky enough the last couple of years to have only little spouts of depression; it was like I forgot I had it. Unfortunately the last couple of months have been really tough. I have been really depressed, I keep trying to push forward but I have gotten to a point where I know I need to get back into therapy. I have a lot of family things going on right now that are triggering my depression and mania. I need to learn how to deal with that situation because it is making me feel worse.
    I also can understand the absence of creativity. I am usually overflowing with ideas and the last couple of weeks I can’t think of anything. I have decided to take a little break. I end up getting frustrated with myself and getting more depressed. I have thrown myself into doing spring cleaning, yard work, and spending time with my kids.
    Trust me you are not alone. I hope you feel better soon. Heather

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  2. Thank you Heather for your kind words of empathy. I hope you, too, feel better soon.

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  3. I do not have problems with being bipolar, but stress can slow me down in being creative. I find that getting out from my usual surroundings and being active, such as walking, exercise, etc. helps. Please continue to work on this with your doctor, and I will pray that you get over this "bump" in your life, and that you will soon feel better. {{{hugs}}} Claudia

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  4. Claudia,
    What a kind person you are! Yes I am exercising about 5 times a week doing cardio and weight lifting. I am on a cancer medicine that made me gain weight rapidly and alot. So I have stopped gaining and I am losing finally with all the working out. I am trying to stay motivated to work out...your words help. Thank you so much,
    Helen

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